Trying to pick up the pieces

After such a horrible week, I wanted to post quickly just to say that we are surviving.  I finally feel like I can talk about it (most of the time) without bursting into tears but I still cannot go visit their graves.  I went out there tonight because I was helping move some stuff out of the lawn so my husband could mow, and I just couldn’t take it.  I’m just so, so sad.

To everyone who left comments, called, emailed and sent cards, thank you so very much.  I really appreciate everything and it really does help. One sweet friend even sent flowers.  (You know who you are!!  I love you!)

I want to get more kitties but I just don’t know when.  I feel like I cannot make a rational decision right now about more kitties.  I feel like I might be trying to replace the ones I’ve lost, rather than welcome a couple of new personalities into our home.  Since I have been through this before, I will know when my brain has made the switch.  It’s good when a cat picks me and I intend to let that happen, however it may.  But I have a friend who has foster cats and I would prefer to get them from her, to help her out.

The kids seem to be doing pretty well although now and then Will tells me how much he misses them.  He has asked to get more but not many times, and I haven’t talked to him about my thoughts.  Because I can’t say that I’m ready to get more just yet, I don’t want to tell him and then make him wait.

I can finally go to sleep at night again without being afraid of my dreams.  Thank goodness.  But now, Sophie is teething again so nights have been hard.

I still don’t know why they left us together.  Maybe they needed each other, more than we needed P to stay.  It is going to take a really long time before I stop feeling so awful about this.

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One thought on “Trying to pick up the pieces

  1. I’m glad to hear you’re doing a little better, but I know it’s just unimaginably hard. I know how you feel about animals and especially the ones that live in your home. You’ll know when it’s the right time to add some new kitties to your family. Love to you!

    Anne

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