Surviving…

Sophie has decided she is going to be up for 1-2 hours again at night.  She wakes up to nurse, then is ready to play.  She is really close to crawling, so that’s her “excuse” for now… (sorry I still don’t believe she is manipulating me… weren’t you ever on the verge of a huge breakthrough and it kept you up at night?  I’ve been!)  but in any case, it’s thrown me into survival mode.   I have lowered my expectations even more, my job now is to keep the kids fed and dry, keep them from hurting each other or themselves, feed myself, and that’s about it.  If I manage to get a load of laundry done or get the dishes done, cool.  If not, tough shit.  And my son watches a ton of TV.  Don’t like it?  Too damn bad.  I AM SURVIVING.  I had someone ask me recently how I could get through mono with a baby and a 2 year old, and I told her, I had to, I had no choice.  People say they will help you but when it comes down to it, it’s really on their convenience.  (I mean, I help people when it’s convenient for me, right?  I don’t just drop everything to rush to someone?  Well, unless they got in an accident on our road and someone was here to watch the kids…)  SO HEAR THIS:  I made it through mono because what else am I going to do?  Quit and go home?  I made it through mono the same way I made it through 50+ hour labors… YOU HAVE NO CHOICE.

I love my children but this is not the time to attempt to live an ideal life.

And to think I was smug enough to believe that I’d done my time with my son who was a horrible sleeper, so the universe owed me a good sleeper??

Oh, by the way, my friends at Sleep Is For The Weak inspired me to post this.

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5 thoughts on “Surviving…

  1. Great post — I’m noddin’ my head in agreement. Spencer is learning to crawl & teething (really bad) and is doing the SCREAM and YELL meltdown thing multiple times per day & night. I yelled back today & immediately felt terrible. The house is trashed, (think playgroup times 4), but I don’t care. Without some “me” time this evening I’d never make it through the day (and night) to come.

  2. OMG, funny! I had a similar karma belief…my first was such a horrible sleeper that I could not be punished with a second wakeful baby! I was so WRONG! (Hey, but she’s sleeping now! Hooray!)

  3. You’re so right. Sometimes you think you can’t make it. But what are you gonna do? Just keep going doing the best you can. You can’t exactly put your kid on ebay when things are tough (even if sometimes I fantacise about it!)
    My lovely friends with their 4th on the way keep saying to me “if at the end of the day you don’t have rodents in the house, you are making a success of this parenting thing”.

  4. We actually got pretty lucky ~ Lucas was a pretty bad sleeper, but when he turned one year old, he started sleeping through the night. YEAH!!! Meredith was a much better sleeper, but here recently she has had a ROUGH time! I just posted about it today, actually. I feel for you! It’s funny ~ lots of times I get caught up in having the ideal household ~ laundry all done and perfectly folded, dishes done, everything beautiful and perfectly organized and arranged. I need to lower my standards sometimes, you know? Relax a bit. That’s hard for me to do.

  5. I have Mono!! Diagnosed yesterday. I have a 12 month old & it explains my fatigue. I had such swollen & infected glands that I couldn’t hardly turn my head. I took antibiotics (two doses) and today, NO STIFF NECK!! I want to cry! I’ve had a stiff neck for over a month! I’ve lost about 13 lbs this past month too… so the Mono diagnosis is actually relieving, I know what’s wrong with me!! I thought I was having Generalized Anxiety Disorder or depression–I’m usually so happy & love to go out and do things. I’ve been a shut-in during the summer, what?! Anyway, yeah, with two kids one that just turned 3 (8/28/04) and one that just turned 1 (8/20/04–still breastfeeding), I just have to do it. Sounds crazy, but I manage to take care of them with help from people at their convenience. No problem though, better than no help and it’s sooooo appreciated!! I just figure out when I need the help THE MOST & I ask them the day before, they usually make time or say no, then I take the help when I can get it! I’m a SAHM, so the only thing that’s getting outta control is laundry & cleaning, DH can do it on the weekends–not ideal to him, but he’ll survive too! ;o)

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