Sophie has decided she is going to be up for 1-2 hours again at night. She wakes up to nurse, then is ready to play. She is really close to crawling, so that’s her “excuse” for now… (sorry I still don’t believe she is manipulating me… weren’t you ever on the verge of a huge breakthrough and it kept you up at night? I’ve been!) but in any case, it’s thrown me into survival mode. I have lowered my expectations even more, my job now is to keep the kids fed and dry, keep them from hurting each other or themselves, feed myself, and that’s about it. If I manage to get a load of laundry done or get the dishes done, cool. If not, tough shit. And my son watches a ton of TV. Don’t like it? Too damn bad. I AM SURVIVING. I had someone ask me recently how I could get through mono with a baby and a 2 year old, and I told her, I had to, I had no choice. People say they will help you but when it comes down to it, it’s really on their convenience. (I mean, I help people when it’s convenient for me, right? I don’t just drop everything to rush to someone? Well, unless they got in an accident on our road and someone was here to watch the kids…) SO HEAR THIS: I made it through mono because what else am I going to do? Quit and go home? I made it through mono the same way I made it through 50+ hour labors… YOU HAVE NO CHOICE.
I love my children but this is not the time to attempt to live an ideal life.
And to think I was smug enough to believe that I’d done my time with my son who was a horrible sleeper, so the universe owed me a good sleeper??
Oh, by the way, my friends at Sleep Is For The Weak inspired me to post this.